A couple of days ago, I did something I am not proud of. I am completely embarrassed by the idea of having done it. If you asked why I did it, I wouldn’t have an answer. I just did. I read a journal.
The owner of the journal was someone who clearly told me hundreds of times that he didn’t trust me. The interesting part is that I had never done ANYTHING to make him feel this way. On the contrary, every time I was rejected, ignored…every time I would get cold shoulders…I would still look for some kind of friendship. Ask me why…and I don’t have an answer either, but the truth is that I would always try to do my best to make him feel at home. I would do my best to be his friend.
Anyway, I guess satan did his gig that day…I saw this guy journal on the table, it was there as if it were waiting to be read…I felt so attracted to read it that I didn’t even think about what I was going to do or the consequences.
What I read was painful for me, but what really matters is what I did. It was dishonest.
Now, I gave him the real excuse not to trust me, which at this point makes not difference at all…